Baby Steps, Big Wins

One of my favorite comedy movies, "What About Bob" with Bill Murray, highlights so may truths in today's struggle with anxiety and being overwhelmed in life. In the movie, Bob (Bill Murray) has bounced around from therapist to therapist trying to figure out how to stay present, battling crippling anxiety on a daily basis. Dr. Marvin, his new therapist, encourages Bob to read his newly published book, "Baby Steps" to help give Bob some sense of manageable daily achievements. Bob likes the book so much that after harassing Dr. Marvin to the point of following his family on vacation, Bob has a break through with his anxiety after discovering he just needed to break life down into smaller increments!

"What About Bob"

Many of my clients today face similar challenges when it comes to starting something new, getting in shape, or dealing with various life situations. They often arrive with overwhelming anxiety, talking about the numerous tasks they need to complete or the goals they wish to achieve, but they feel too overwhelmed to begin. As with Bob, I usually recommend breaking it down into smaller steps! These small steps not only make intimidating tasks more manageable but also help train our nervous system to embrace progress rather than fear it. By understanding how our deeper limbic brain in the nervous system functions, we can take control of our path to success.

The "Freeze"

Our brain is designed to protect us from danger. From the time we develop in our mother's womb, the brain is continuously monitoring our surroundings for threats. These dangers are not only physical, but also emotional, such as disappointment, failure, sadness, and heartbreak. The limbic brain, commonly referred to as the emotional center, affects our responses to challenges. When a task or goal appears overwhelming, the limbic system activates and often triggers a "freeze" response that can impede our progress or prevent us from taking action entirely.

The Power of Small Steps (Baby Steps)

Small steps build momentum and confidence. Completing a mini goal sends a positive message to our nervous system, reinforcing our capability to tackle larger challenges. I tell clients that we need to provide this reinforcement daily as our brain is very sensitive to positive self belief. Each small accomplishment releases a hit of the neurotransmitters dopamine and serotonin. Dopamine is a reward chemical that increases motivation and satisfaction. Serotonin helps create feelings of happiness and calm. We need these to fire every day!

Beginning with small steps also increases our eagerness to achieve more! It's like when our favorite Netflix series leaves us on the edge of our seats, eager to find out what happens next, only to end with a cliffhanger and the dreaded "To Be Continued In The Next Season." In the same way, we can leave our nervous system with a cliffhanger to want to come back for more!

In a common scenario I encounter in my practice, clients express a desire to resume regular exercise, but feel frustrated by their inability to begin. When the alarm rings, they often remain stationary, allowing time to pass by. I suggest that instead of committing to an hour at the gym, they should start by spending 5-10 minutes a day in the living room or garage, doing 10 push-ups, 10 sit-ups, and 10 jumping jacks. Although this might not seem significant, it helps the brain become accustomed to the idea that exercise isn't overwhelming, paving the way for a greater desire to continue!

Practicing Self Compassion

Practicing self compassion is vital on this journey. Every step, regardless of size, contributes to your growth. Acknowledge your efforts, and be gracious to yourself when things don’t go as planned.

Celebrating small wins fosters a positive mindset. When you notice and appreciate your progress—no matter how minor—it becomes easier for your nervous system to recognize achievements and lessen the fear of failure.

Moving Forward with Confidence

The journey to success doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. By embracing the idea of taking small steps, you can create a more enjoyable and sustainable path. Recognizing how your limbic brain operates helps you reframe your nervous system to accept growth in place of fearing it. Remember, it's ok to dip your foot in the shallow water before diving head first in the deep end.

Baby steps Bob!

Christian Sarran

Licensed Professional Counselor

www.sarrancounseling.com